The difference between children who like to argue back and those who never argue back when they grow up.

Different environments shape different children. Some parents will find their child to be argumentative, always ready with a counterargument if you say something, they will have plenty of words waiting for you to refute them; they often act like a talkative person.

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Some children do not like to argue back, basically they will listen to what their parents say and not refute. Although this is a small behavior in life, in fact, through the behavior of children, it can be seen that children who like to argue back and children who do not like to argue back will have very different personalities when they grow up.

Children never argue back

In fact, parents will find that their children actually speak back from the time they are born. When they are young, children cry to express their dissatisfaction, when they are 2 or 3 years old, they even say “no” and “don’t”. Professor Li Meijin also said: “The nature of children is disobedience”.

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Therefore, when a child has something that goes against their opinion, they will definitely show something. It may be crying, it may be arguing.

Therefore, children who do not like to argue back will basically have these two personalities.

The first type is lacking opinions. Because from a young age, they have been used to obeying their parents, so they do not express their thoughts when something happens. The second type is children who have strong ideas in their hearts, but they do not express themselves because they are silently competing with each other, knowing that if they speak out, their parents will not understand, so they simply do not refute or express their thoughts.

Therefore, in reality, these two personalities are not beneficial for the development of children.

In fact, the main reason why children develop such personalities is due to communication issues between parents and children.

Although children are still young, they still have their own ideas. If parents always dismiss their children’s ideas or reject their children’s ideas because they think they are not reliable, the children will feel that their ideas are not always understood and respected. When that happens, the child will not want to express their thoughts to protect themselves, they will just obey and obey.

Educational goals:

If a child already has a relatively silent personality, parents still need to be more patient and careful with the child, at the same time pay attention to guiding the child to express their thoughts.

For example, parents can ask for their child’s opinion when expressing something, but still do not respect the child’s opinion.

When the child is angry or does something wrong, first try to understand the child from the child’s perspective and express it in words so that the child knows that you understand them, then acknowledge what the child has done well, or tell them what they can do in such situations next time. Instead of scolding them, give them solutions.

There are also some children who actually do not know how to express their thoughts, so parents still need to guide them. For example, they can express their thoughts to their child in normal times and let the child know that language is a good way to teach communication.

Or let the child read some comics, so that the child knows how to express their thoughts in words through visual interpretation of small animals in the comics.

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A child always argues back

Children who like to argue back are actually more extroverted, dare to express their thoughts and have enough language skills to support their expression.

Children like this will not follow other people’s opinions and have enough independence, which is an advantage of children who like to argue back.

But everything has to be done in its own way. Going too far without going all the way can be not good. If parents notice that their child seems to like to argue back and always “take control”, then parents need to discipline their child.

If a child is used to expressing themselves by “arguing back”, they will consider themselves as the center and more aggressive. The child will have the self-proud attitude of “Anyway, I’m always right”.

Children like this usually have low emotional intelligence, do not respect others, and have difficulty making good friends.

Parents should tell their children that expressing their opinions is allowed, but they should also learn to respect others.

Because when expressing yourself, you don’t need to use a tense tone, use a calm tone, others can still listen to what you say.

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Frequently asked questions

The article suggests that children who are encouraged to express their opinions and engage in respectful debate from a young age are more likely to become assertive adults who can stand up for themselves and others. On the other hand, children who are taught to suppress their opinions and never argue back may grow up to be people-pleasers, struggling to set boundaries and assert their needs.

A child’s environment and parenting style greatly influence their future argumentative behavior. Authoritarian parenting, which involves strict rules and punishment without explanation, can lead to children who either become rebellious or conform without questioning. In contrast, authoritative parenting, which encourages open communication and rational explanation, is more likely to result in children who can articulate their thoughts and defend their beliefs respectfully.

Children who never argue back may grow up to be adults who struggle with assertiveness and self-advocacy. They might find it challenging to set healthy boundaries, express their needs, or stand up for themselves in personal and professional relationships. Additionally, they may be more susceptible to manipulation or abuse due to their tendency to avoid confrontation.

Parents can promote healthy argumentative skills by creating a safe and open environment for expression. This includes actively listening to their children’s opinions, modeling respectful debate, and providing rational explanations for rules and expectations. Teaching children about emotional intelligence and helping them understand their own feelings and those of others can also foster more effective argumentative skills.

Signs that a child may need support in developing assertiveness include extreme shyness or social anxiety, difficulty making friends, frequent tearfulness or anger outbursts, and a tendency to be taken advantage of by peers. If a child consistently avoids eye contact, has a hard time voicing their opinions, or seems fearful of authority figures, they may benefit from guidance in building their assertiveness and self-advocacy skills.