Art is an expressive extracurricular activity that many children enjoy, as it allows them to unleash their creativity and convey their innermost thoughts beyond everyday communication. Painting about family is a familiar topic that preschoolers may have experienced at school.
Recently, a teacher in Shenzhen, China, shared an incident where she assigned her students the task of drawing their families. However, upon receiving one student’s artwork, she was shocked. While the other children in the class depicted happy family scenes, this particular child’s painting depicted a heartbreaking situation.
The drawing included the father, mother, and their son, all smiling happily. After sketching the three family members, the preschooler added a large heart to symbolize the love between them. However, the anomaly lay in the bottom right corner of the drawing. There, the child had drawn a girl with a sad expression, crying, and above her, a broken heart, symbolizing the loneliness and hurt the girl was enduring.
Upon observing the entire drawing, the teacher immediately realized the issue. She called the child’s parents to inform them of the situation. The parents were not only surprised but also embarrassed by the teacher’s account.
They acknowledged that since the birth of their second child, they had devoted less time to their eldest. Some of their actions had inadvertently made their daughter feel unloved and replaced by her younger sibling. The arrival of the baby brother had become a threat in the girl’s eyes, as he had “taken away” her parents’ attention and affection.
Following the conversation with the parents, the preschool teacher offered critical feedback and reminders. She emphasized the need for parents to pay attention to the psychological needs of their older child and ensure a balance of care and love among the siblings. This helps prevent any unwanted negative impacts on the children.
So, what should parents do in families with two or more children to maintain balance in their relationships?
Strive for fairness:
The most important factor for the children is their parents’ attitude. Parents must strive to treat their children as fairly as possible. When conflicts arise between siblings, parents should not favor the younger child just because they are smaller, nor should they demand that the older child always give in. Instead, parents should aim to resolve the issue objectively and ensure fairness for both. Of course, if possible, the best approach is to let the children resolve their conflicts and teach them about humility and mutual love.
Avoid comparing siblings:
Statements like, “Look how well your brother behaves” or “You should learn from your sister,” are common among parents but can easily lead to conflicts between siblings. Over time, these comparisons can create distance and even turn into fierce competition.
As a parent, you should skillfully uncover each child’s unique qualities and encourage them to respect each other’s individuality.
Provide personal space for your children:
Sustainable relationships are built through companionship and interaction, and this applies to sibling relationships as well. Parents can facilitate private time for their children, allowing them to bond, understand each other better, and overcome challenges together, thus strengthening their sibling bond.
Of course, conflicts may arise during this process of bonding. However, unless there are serious issues, parents should let their children resolve their differences themselves. Parents can provide appropriate guidance, teaching their children how to handle conflicts and get along naturally.
Encourage older siblings to participate in caring for younger ones:
Before deciding to have another child, parents should inform their older child, helping them prepare mentally and not feel surprised by the new addition. This makes the older child feel like an important part of the family.
When the second child is born, parents should not only focus on the newborn’s emotions but also involve the older sibling in caring for the baby. This helps the older child understand their role and responsibilities within the family. Through this process, parents can foster the older child’s love for their sibling and minimize any negative emotions that may arise from this change.
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