Unlocking Success: The Five Questions Every Child Needs to Hear From Their Parents

Experts suggest five common but key questions for parents to better understand and communicate about their children’s daily lives.

“What made you happiest today?”

This question encourages children to share their daily moments of happiness, whether it’s a joke between friends or a small achievement. By sharing the fun and memorable moments of the day, they have the opportunity to express positive emotions.

When answering this question, children will feel respected and safe to open up. This will foster closeness and trust between the child and the parent, allowing the latter to gain deeper insights into the child’s joys and memorable experiences.

By listening to and caring about the little things that happen during the day, parents also show their attention, helping their children develop openness, confidence, and emotional expression skills. This forms the foundation for building a close and trusting relationship with their children.

“What do you think we should do to improve the outcome of this situation?”

When children face obstacles or difficulties, instead of directly providing solutions, guide them to think and express their own opinions.

This question encourages children to reflect and develop a sense of responsibility and problem-solving skills. Through discussion, parents can help their children consider different perspectives while boosting their confidence and independence.

Rather than rushing to give advice, parents should ask questions like, “What do you think we can do to solve this problem?” or “Which approach do you think will be more effective?” This way, children are encouraged to think, generate ideas, and propose solutions.

When children share their opinions, parents should listen actively without immediately judging or refuting them. Instead, ask further questions to help them consider different aspects of the issue. For example: “What do you think will happen if we try this approach?” or “How do you think this will impact…”

By doing so, you’re helping your children develop problem-solving skills, boost their confidence, and foster a sense of initiative. They will feel trusted, heard, and encouraged to participate in finding solutions.

“You seem sad. Is there something you want to talk about?”

Emotional expression is an integral part of communication. This question offers a safe space for children to comfortably express their emotions, whether they feel happy, sad, angry, or confused.

By listening to their children’s emotions, parents can gain a better understanding of their inner world, offer timely comfort and support, and teach them how to identify and manage their emotions effectively.

Parents should encourage their children to freely express what they are feeling without judgment or dismissal. Listen attentively and empathically, and ask further questions about these emotions: “Can you share with me what’s making you feel this way?” or “I want to understand your emotions better.”

When children feel comfortable expressing themselves, parents should seize the opportunity to help them understand and manage these emotions. Guide them to recognize, name, and communicate their emotions clearly. For example: “You seem frustrated. I understand how you feel.” Then, provide guidance on how to handle these emotions in a healthy and constructive manner.

“What are you thinking about?”

This question makes children feel that their thoughts are valued. Through discussion, parents can understand their children’s thoughts and concerns, making more informed decisions.

Children will feel respected, heard, and considered an important member of the family. This helps build trust, self-esteem, and a stronger bond. They will also gain a better understanding of the reasons behind rules, leading to better compliance and cooperation.

Parents should proactively seek their children’s opinions on relevant matters, such as room arrangement, rules for using electronic devices, or weekend activities. Listen attentively and seriously consider these opinions, even accepting some of their suggestions if appropriate.

When conversing with children, create a friendly and relaxed atmosphere, encouraging them to freely express their views. Listen attentively without judgment and be open to considering valuable insights from your children.

“Do you need my help with anything?”

This question directly conveys the parent’s support and interest in their child’s well-being. When children face challenges or need assistance, this proactive offer of help can make them feel the warmth and strength of their family.

It also teaches children how to establish healthier and more positive interactions in their future relationships. When children encounter problems, parents should actively inquire if they need help, rather than simply giving orders or advice.

As children learn to express their needs, they will be able to apply this skill in their relationships with others at school, with friends, and even as adults. This skill is crucial for building healthy relationships, avoiding conflicts, and effectively solving problems.

Parents need to patiently guide their children on how to ask for support, such as, “I need help with this. Can you help me, Mom/Dad?” or “I’m having difficulty with this. Can we think of a solution together, Mom/Dad?” Questions like these teach children how to politely and effectively express their needs.