In today’s society, there is a lot of emphasis on the development of EQ, which stands for emotional intelligence, in children. EQ is related to creativity, behavior, and actions. According to Professor Goleman, a psychologist at Harvard University, a person’s success is only 20% attributed to IQ, while EQ accounts for a whopping 80%. High emotional intelligence is the key to success in relationships and business.
Having high EQ helps individuals make better decisions, handle social pressure, reduce stress, and resolve conflicts effectively. People with high EQ are often respected within a group.
To assess a child’s IQ, parents can look at their academic performance and IQ tests. However, to gauge EQ, parents need to observe their child’s daily activities, and mealtime is a clear reflection of a child’s emotional intelligence. A child’s eating behavior reflects their emotional intelligence. Therefore, parents should pay attention and correct their child’s behavior if they exhibit the following signs:
Eating in a haste
The act of rushing towards the food, eating quickly, and not displaying patience with the service of others, while everyone else is waiting patiently, shows bad manners and lack of courtesy. A child who eats hastily and does not wait for others is being selfish and impolite. These children tend to focus more on themselves, being self-centered, and narrowing their concerns around themselves.
If this behavior is displayed in society, your child will be excluded, not respected, and not receive affection from friends.
How to handle: Parents need to teach their children about manners and dining etiquette. Eating is a cultural characteristic that reflects a person’s character. Waiting shows respect. Explain to your child how it feels if they arrive late and see others almost finished eating. Explain to your child how much effort goes into preparing a meal and how long it takes, so they learn to appreciate and wait. If it’s a meal at home, involve your child in the cooking process, encourage them to help others if they want to eat faster, and let them see how long it takes to prepare a meal.
Causing a commotion at the dining table
Young children may find it difficult to sit still while eating. But there are 4-5-year-old kids who continue to shout and create chaos at the dining table. They eat, shout, run, jump around, and play with their food. This demonstrates that the child lacks tranquility and does not respect others.
This bad habit leads to the impression that your child lacks education and impacts others. No one who negatively impacts others is lucky. Therefore, you need to stop this behavior.
How to handle: If the child is not serious, they will have to eat alone next time, not allowed to sit with others. Explain to your child about manners and respect for others. Remind them frequently.
Refusing to share their favorite food
Children tend to choose their favorite food and fear it will run out. However, there are kids who know how to share, and there are those who refuse to even share their own portion. If your child exhibits such behavior, you need to address it immediately. It is unacceptable to think that the child can just take whatever they want because they like it.
How to handle: Give examples to your child. Ask them how they would feel if someone else took something they wanted and did not share? Then, use the food they are holding to share with others and see how they feel. Never indulge your child in this manner. If the portion is sufficient, it should not be given entirely to the child just because they like it.
Lack of respect for parents and older people
Children often see themselves as the center of attention and demand to have their way. When parents give their parents or grandparents something the child likes, the child demands it, cries, or throws a tantrum, it shows low EQ. Or when there are older people eating with the family, the child must learn to invite or wait for the older people to eat. You should avoid prioritizing this behavior. This habit makes children forget about traditional values, making it easy for them to be disliked and avoided by others.
How to handle: You need to teach your child this habit from a young age and establish clear rules within the family. Do not give your child special privileges and explain to them the beauty of traditional values.
Constantly picking through the food
The action of constantly poking through the food to find the parts they like is very impolite and disrespectful to others. This behavior makes others uncomfortable and ruins their appetite. It shows that the child does not pay attention to others and makes others “scared”. Kids who exhibit this behavior only act on their own preferences without considering others. As they grow older, it’s difficult for them to maintain deep relationships. These individuals tend to be selfish or create trouble for others.
How to handle: Remind your child as soon as they start going through the food. Never assume that young children don’t understand.
Not serving themselves during meals, even as they grow older
Many children, even as they grow older, still expect their parents to feed, scoop, or peel their food. This is not proper and does not promote self-reliance in children. Many parents fulfill their child’s needs just to finish the meal quickly.
How to handle: If the child knows how to do something but doesn’t, then they don’t get to eat. Dependent habits will hinder the child’s future because no one in society can rely on anyone.
Eating and criticizing the food at the same time
It is natural for children to not enjoy certain foods, and they have the right to express their dislikes, especially when young children don’t know how to lie. But criticizing the food while eating will spoil the appetite for others. If children continue to do this as they grow up, others will not want to eat or live with them, or work with them.
How to handle: Remind your child to focus on eating. If they don’t find it delicious, they can stop eating, but let others eat. We can talk after everyone has finished eating.
If your child exhibits the above signs, don’t assume it’s normal or that they’re young and don’t know any better. Teach your child from a young age to develop good habits. Habits formed from early childhood become a person’s culture. Once it becomes a habit, it’s difficult to change. The worse the habit, the harder it is to change.
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