In this life, many parents, especially mothers, do not hesitate to work hard to ensure that their children receive a proper education. They are even willing to use half a month’s salary to give gifts to their children’s teachers, all in exchange for their children’s hard work and academic success, with the hope that their children will repay their parents in the future.
But is this extreme sacrifice really what children need? Maybe not, because an excessive amount of a mother’s love can become a burden for her children and cause them a great deal of pain. This significant sacrifice, including time, energy, and money, often creates an underlying pressure in a child’s soul.
As educator Anton Makarenko once said, “The scariest gift that parents can give to their children is unlimited sacrifice, including personal happiness.”
Indeed, a mother’s sacrifice, if taken to the extreme, not only makes a child’s life exhausting but also creates a considerable amount of pressure. When love is applied incorrectly, it can make children feel daily pain and eventually lead to unforeseen negative reactions.
The consequences of parents sacrificing too much for their children
Impacts on children’s independence
Parents often emphasize their sacrifice for their children but may not realize that they are creating an unhealthy dependency. Children easily feel indebted to their parents, making them dependent and believing that they can only overcome difficulties with their parents’ help.
Insecurity and self-consciousness arising from a sense of guilt
Children who have heard repeatedly about their parents’ sacrifices may develop a deep sense of guilt, making them feel unworthy and creating feelings of insecurity and self-consciousness. There are times when they wish they didn’t exist so as not to make their parents suffer.
Academic achievements, no matter how high, do not make them proud of their personal efforts but are seen as the result of their parents’ sacrifices.
Unrelenting pressure weighing on children’s shoulders
When children realize the financial and physical investment their parents make, they will feel overwhelming pressure, fearing failure and worrying about disappointing their parents. This leads to children being willing to give up their rest time or personal hobbies just to meet their parents’ expectations. Over time, tension and anxiety can become a constant part of their lives.
How should parents raise their children?
Parents should care about themselves
Parents who love themselves will take care of their children wholeheartedly and know how to treat them in every detail. When parents neglect their own well-being, they are often obsessed with worrying about seemingly trivial things, which not only causes stress for themselves but can also transmit this feeling to their children.
Parents who love themselves will manage their emotions more effectively, thereby providing their children with solid and positive psychological support.
Parents should constantly learn and improve themselves
In the long journey of raising their children, parents also need to adapt to their children’s development.
Parents who serve as role models in constantly striving to improve themselves will create an ideal environment for their children’s development. This also helps children understand that their parents’ sacrifice comes from genuine love and not for any demands.
Parents should provide unconditional love to their children
Nurturing children involves not only providing physical care but also building their awareness of their own worth. Parents can encourage this by allowing children to participate in household chores, teaching them problem-solving skills, fostering independence, and praising them when they have done well.
Set appropriate goals and expectations for children, encourage them to try new things, and support and encourage them even when they are not successful. This helps children build self-esteem and confidence.
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