4 Ways to Turn a Difficult Child into a Well-Behaved One

When children make mistakes, parents often tend to get angry and even scold them. However, this approach only ends up hurting the child without providing any educational benefits.

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Not every child is born well-behaved and easy to handle. Some children are more stubborn and difficult to manage. They often assert their independence, making their parents angry and disappointed. But no matter what their parents do, they still calmly do what they want, even if it means standing up to protect their self.

With such children, physical punishment and yelling are not effective measures. Parents can try applying the following methods that can make a difficult child more obedient.

Avoid scaring the child with terrifying words

Parents should avoid mocking or ridiculing when the child makes a mistake. Do not repeat many times or interrogate them. It is best to give the child a quiet space to reflect on their actions and words, from which the child can easily absorb the parents’ words.

When angry, explaining or talking to the child will also make it difficult for parents to maintain their calmness. The child is not awake enough to listen or absorb opinions from adults. So give both sides enough time to calm down before talking to the child.

Express your own emotions and acknowledge the child’s feelings

If the child annoys you and you realize the anger in you is rising, choose to express your own emotions at 3 levels: “I am not happy with the way you are doing”, “I am very angry”, “I am about to go crazy”. This will be more effective than venting anger on the child.

Many parents focus on scolding their children, but instead, share and communicate with the child about their own emotions with a calm attitude.

At the same time, parents need to acknowledge the child’s feelings like “You’re not happy, are you?”, “Mom and Dad understand your feelings right now”,…

Never get angry with the child in front of others

When scolded in a crowded place, the child will feel embarrassed and rebellious from that moment. Parents need to find the right time to teach and guide their children, making the child feel that even if parents are angry, they still maintain their dignity, and the child will reduce their confrontational attitude.

Comfort the child when possible

For young children, sometimes a kiss, a hug, or the phrase “Mom loves you” can immediately soothe their grievances. For older children, a conversation is necessary.

Before scolding the child, parents should ask themselves if doing so helps the child improve their behavior and manners.

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Frequently asked questions

There are several strategies that can be effective in improving a child’s behavior. First, it’s important to establish clear rules and consequences for misbehavior. Consistency is key – make sure the rules are enforced fairly and consistently. Second, positive reinforcement can be a powerful tool. Reward good behavior with praise, small treats, or privileges. This will encourage the child to continue behaving well. Third, try to identify and address any underlying issues that may be contributing to the child’s misbehavior. For example, if the child is acting out due to stress or anxiety, helping them learn healthy coping mechanisms can make a big difference.

One technique is to use time-outs effectively. A time-out should be a calm, quiet break for the child, not a punishment. Explain to the child why they are having a time-out and for how long. Another technique is to offer choices, within limits. For example, instead of demanding that the child eats their vegetables, offer them a choice between two types of vegetables. This gives the child a sense of control and can reduce power struggles. Finally, catch the child being good and give specific praise. For example, ‘I really appreciate how you shared your toys with your sister today. That was very kind.’

First, make sure you have their attention before giving instructions. Get down to their eye level and use their name to ensure they are focused on you. Then, give simple, clear directions. For younger children, you can also use gestures or visual cues to help them understand. Finally, give them a chance to repeat the directions back to you to ensure they understand what is expected of them.

It’s important to remain calm and consistent. Avoid losing your temper or engaging in power struggles. If the child is not responding to your current discipline strategies, it may be time to reevaluate your approach. Consider seeking professional advice if you are concerned about your child’s behavior. A child psychologist or behavioral therapist can provide personalized guidance and strategies to help improve your child’s behavior.

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