“Mom is very busy, here’s my phone to keep you busy for a bit. Let me have some quiet time.”
I’ve heard of a “boy” who used his mom’s bank card, linked to her phone, to tip a livestream host tens of thousands of yuan. There are also elementary school students who go on shopping sprees online, nearly spending all the money their parents worked hard to save… Behind these “spoiled kids” are often indulgent “bad parents” who allow excessive mobile phone usage.
Many parents, despite knowing that excessive phone usage is detrimental, are often too busy with work and household chores to spend time playing with their children outdoors. When their kids pester them, they find it easier to hand over their phones, hoping for some temporary peace and quiet.
“Just a little while, that’s all!”
“Staring at screens is bad for your eyes. Why don’t you do your homework instead?” The mother skillfully deflects her child’s request, offering multiple reasons to discourage phone usage. However, the child persists. Most parents find it challenging to resist their child’s adorable, pleading, or pitiful expressions, so they give in and say, “Okay, but just for a little while!” This concession gives the child a foothold in the mobile world, and next time, they will try their best to gain ‘rights’ to the phone.
As adults, we sometimes lose track of time while watching videos or TV shows. In this information explosion era, there are endless wonders that make it hard to stop. Moreover, children lack self-control, and once they get their hands on a phone, it’s challenging for them to stop without guidance.
True to form, 15 minutes pass, then another 10, and then 5 more… In short, the child has countless reasons not to give the phone back. The mother has to resort to a “killer tool,” but the outcome is often not as desired.
“Here, take it!”
As usual, the phone is a quick fix for crying, naughty, or stubborn children. Sometimes, it’s even more effective than strict parenting, and it works after multiple attempts. Thus, some parents don’t wait for their children to ask; they proactively hand over their phones, buying themselves some “peace and quiet.”
If this pattern continues, children will become increasingly attached to their phones and may even develop an addiction. They don’t realize that at an age when they need attention and companionship the most, they are being left behind with a mobile phone, and their relationship with their parents is growing distant. Parents are letting the phone replace their responsibilities, losing their children’s love and dependence in the process. In reality, mobile phones not only cause addiction but also affect children’s studies and form bad habits.
More importantly, mobile phones can cause long-term harm to children’s health. For example, excessive phone usage can lead to vision problems, cervical spine degeneration, exposure to electronic radiation, sleep deprivation, and memory decline, all of which impact a child’s development. According to scientific research data, children who play on their phones for half an hour daily blink an average of more than seven times per minute, and their average eye-blinking interval is less than five seconds. If this continues, their eyesight will deteriorate significantly.
If you don’t control your child’s phone usage, it may be too late by the time issues arise. So, don’t give your child your phone out of temporary convenience. Let your presence and engagement accompany your child’s growth instead.
In reality, we can’t completely deny children’s requests to play with phones, but we don’t have a better choice.
When a child asks, “Mom, can I play with your phone?” you can try responding with, “Sweetie, are you feeling bored? Let’s play together for a bit!” or “Why don’t you play with your phone? Let’s go to the amusement park instead!” or “I’m cooking, and I need a helper. Would you like to help me choose the dish?”
Wait for their response, and I believe the child will be delighted and stop pestering you about the phone. In fact, these responses lead to the same outcome: spending time with the child. Ask yourself, does your child truly want to play with the phone, or do they crave your company?
Most of the time, children use mobile phones because they feel lonely, bored, or want to follow what others are doing. When everyone around them, including parents, is engrossed in their devices, they may feel left out. However, if you offer to spend time with them, they will feel valued and less lonely. So, when they make a request, we must respond promptly with love and care. Spend time with them, take them outdoors, satisfy their curiosity and thirst for knowledge, and let them experience that the world outside is far more fascinating than a mobile phone.
A parent’s response to a child’s request to play with their phone reflects their attitude and parenting style, which can shape the child’s future. Of course, in today’s society, we can’t entirely isolate children from mobile phones, but we need to be mindful of the following when controlling their usage:
- Interact with your children daily, cultivate their interests, and enrich their daily lives.
- Children under two years old should not stare at phone screens for extended periods.
- The best way to keep children away from mobile phones is to redirect their attention.
- Parents should minimize phone usage in front of their children.
- Set rules for children’s phone usage and strictly adhere to them.
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