Nurturing Children: Navigating the Delicate Balance of Discipline and Freedom
Parents often aspire to raise disciplined, sharing, and polite children, deeming these qualities as indicators of successful parenting. However, imposing certain behaviors on children may not yield the desired benefits and could be detrimental to their psychological development and well-being. There are six common “polite” behaviors that parents often force upon their children, but in reality, these demands can do more harm than good.
Forcing Greetings
Parents often get frustrated when their children refuse to greet adults or even try to avoid them. They worry that their children’s behavior reflects poorly on them: “Why won’t my child greet people? Don’t they understand basic manners?” However, a child’s wariness of strangers is a natural psychological response, indicating their developing awareness and self-protection skills. Forcing children to greet others against their will can compromise their sense of safety and self-preservation, potentially leading to social fears later in life.
Instead of coercion, parents should create a comfortable communication environment for their children by using language and gestures. Remove any pressure and allow them to relax. As they become familiar with their surroundings, parents can lead by example, actively demonstrating greeting behaviors, such as saying hello and striking up conversations: “Hello, Auntie,” or “Good day, Uncle.” This approach will encourage children to feel more at ease and willingly engage in social interactions.
![](https://media.phunutoday.vn/files/content/2024/07/21/cach-day-do-phan-tac-dung-2132.jpeg)
Create a Comfortable Communication Environment for Children
Coercing Public Performances
It’s not uncommon for parents to want to showcase their children at parties or events. However, this should never be done by forcing children to perform for the sake of parental pride or ego. Such actions can make children feel helpless and terrified and may even lead them to develop a rebellious attitude towards their genuine talents.
A better approach is to start by listening to your child’s opinions. If they feel comfortable and willing to perform, let them decide on the form of expression they prefer. After the performance, applaud and praise their efforts sincerely. Even if the outcome isn’t as expected, your encouragement and support are crucial, helping them feel valued and motivated.
Enforcing Unfair Compromises
Consider this: if you’re working and your boss says, “You’re still young, so let’s give this opportunity to someone more experienced,” would you readily give up a chance for advancement just because of your age? As parents, we must not criticize our children without understanding the reason behind their actions. Doing so may make them feel unloved, leading to anxiety and a diminished competitive spirit.
Instead of demanding that children compromise simply because they are younger, parents should help them distinguish right from wrong and treat their siblings fairly. Disputes and conflicts are normal among children, and sometimes, they are fully capable of resolving their issues if we ensure a fair environment for them.
![](https://media.phunutoday.vn/files/content/2024/07/21/cach-day-do-phan-tac-dung-1-2134.jpeg)
Treat Siblings Fairly and Help Children Understand Right from Wrong
Forcing Sharing
Imagine a friend saying, “You can’t possibly use all these beauty products, so give some to me.” Would you readily give them away? Children experience similar feelings. Around the age of three, children enter a “sensitive stage of ownership.” Their beloved toys are as valuable to them as the possessions adults cherish. Forcing children to share without considering their emotions and psychology can impact their sense of ownership and cause anxiety.
Instead, parents should encourage sharing by asking children for their opinions first. Teach them to enjoy the act of sharing while respecting their wishes. Don’t be quick to label them as selfish if they aren’t ready to part with their belongings.
Imposing Rules Without Explanation
Don’t always expect children to behave maturely and understandingly. No matter how intelligent they are, they are still children. Requiring blind obedience can lead to self-repression and the development of a people-pleasing personality at the expense of their genuine emotions.
Parents should create a safe space for children to express their thoughts and feelings. Listen attentively, respect their perspectives, and communicate on equal terms. This approach will help children feel calmer and more confident in expressing themselves.
![](https://media.phunutoday.vn/files/content/2024/07/21/cach-day-do-phan-tac-dung-2-2136.jpeg)
Create a Safe Space for Children to Express Themselves
Constant Comparison to Other Children
Constantly comparing your child to their more accomplished peers can erode their sense of security and individuality. If this persists, they may become timid and insecure. In reality, every child has unique strengths, and it’s our job to uncover and nurture those talents while helping them recognize and improve their weaknesses.
Each child is distinct, and we must respect their nature. Creating a loving and supportive environment, filled with hugs, praise, and affirmations, will ultimately lead to proud moments for parents and fulfilled potential for children.
Learning Tips for Parents: 12 Japanese Techniques to Use with Your Children
Discover the 12 principles of teaching children in the traditional Japanese way that parents can learn with Dien May XANH! By instilling these principles when your children are young, you can ensure that they grow up to be obedient, smart and polite, the hallmarks of a successful education in Japan.
Improving Children’s Vision Through Smartphone Use
As smartphones become an ever-increasing feature of our lives, parents are increasingly anxious about their effects on young eyes. To help them protect their children’s vision, DIEN MAY XANH has some tips on the safer use of Android phones for younger users. Recent research has linked the extended use of smartphones to Myopia, so being mindful of our tips could help to lower the risk of this sight-impairing condition. Read on to find out more about how to better protect your child’s eyesight.