Every parent wants their children to excel and succeed, but the high expectations from parents inadvertently create invisible pressure on the child. Here are some phrases that children hear from their parents every day, but unintentionally create a lot of pressure and affect their psychology.
1 “You are the best. No one can compare to you”
In the eyes of parents, it is natural for their child to be unique and the best. When parents say this, they just want to show that they love their child very much and not comparing them to any other child. However, sometimes this statement can be misunderstood by the child.
The child may hesitate to challenge themselves with new things because they are afraid of not being able to achieve success and meet their parents’ expectations. Instead, parents can say it differently like: “You have made a lot of effort and I see that you are better than your past self.”
“You are the best. No one can compare to you”
2 “Don’t hit your sibling, you are brothers and sisters”
This is one of the common phrases that many mothers use when their children argue. Conflict between siblings during playtime is unavoidable, and parents tend to favor the older child.
Many parents also say “don’t hit your sibling” without understanding what is happening. With children, unfair treatment and favoritism can be hurtful. Therefore, when resolving conflicts between children, parents need to listen to the child and not favor anyone. The one who is wrong should apologize.
“Don’t hit your sibling, you are brothers and sisters”
3 “That’s a small matter, why do you care?”
Many parents think that their children’s problems are trivial and not worth caring about. However, for children, it’s different. Issues like friends not playing with them, spilling water on the table, or losing a toy can be significant to them. When parents don’t care and consider it meaningless, it can unintentionally make the child very sad.
In addition, when parents make promises to their children and then break them, it can greatly affect the child’s psychology. At this time, the child may think that adults always make empty promises, which gradually makes them not value promises.
“That’s a small matter, why do you care?”
4 “Never mind, let it be. It’s ruined, Mom/Dad will fix it in no time”
This statement, said by parents in many occasions, can make the child feel mentally suppressed. The child tends to drop or break things because you have already set the outcome in their mind.
Instead of saying that, parents can say it more gently: “Be careful, Mom/Dad is afraid it might break.”
“Never mind, let it be. It’s ruined, Mom/Dad will fix it in no time”
5 “Focus on studying, let Mom/Dad take care of other things”
Children need to be trained to determine when they need help from others or when they can solve problems on their own.
However, many parents anticipate their children’s needs and do their homework for them, when in fact, children should do it themselves. These things can make the child feel difficult if they start something new because they are afraid of failure.
“Focus on studying, let Mom/Dad take care of other things”
6 “Boys don’t cry, why are you crying over something so small?”
Expressing emotions is necessary for children, regardless of their gender. When happy, they can laugh; when sad, they can cry; and when angry, they should find ways to express it instead of hiding their emotions, as it can have an impact on their psychology.
“Boys don’t cry, why are you crying over something so small?”
Above are 6 phrases that parents often say to their children but unintentionally put pressure on them, greatly affecting their psychology. Hopefully, through this information, parents can raise happy children.
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