How Unintentional Habits of Parents Result in Spoiled Children, Lack of Progress, and How to Fix It

Sometimes, parents' actions can go unnoticed and lead to a spoiled child. It is important for parents to recognize this and take immediate steps to make corrections.

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No parent wants their child to be spoiled, yet many do not realize that their own habits are spoiling their children.

Doing all the household chores for the child

Many parents believe that as long as their child is academically successful, they don’t need to do any physical work. This approach does not benefit the child. Learning academic subjects and practical skills provide different values and are equally beneficial. Through daily chores, children learn various things and become more self-sufficient, observant, and agile. Chores are not a burden but an opportunity for development. By doing everything for the child, they will become like factory chickens, only knowing book knowledge and lacking self-care skills and a work ethic.

Coming home and immediately using the phone

Parents may dislike their child’s phone addiction, yet they reserve the privilege to hold their phones all day long. When they come home, they lie down or sit on the sofa and immediately start using their phones. They even use their phones while feeding or bathing their child. This behavior disconnects the child from the parents and increases their desire to use the phone, imitating their parents. Instead of lecturing theoretically, it is better to lead by example. If the father changes his behavior by staying away from the phone whenever he comes home, it won’t be surprising if the child develops self-discipline and diligence. When parents are proactive, their children are generally not lazy. If the father is not proactive, it will be difficult to raise children with a sense of responsibility.

Providing too many choices for the child

Nobody wants their child to experience deprivation, but never go beyond their needs and give them just a little less. This way, children will value everything, not take things for granted, and appreciate them more.

Parents frequently complaining

Parents’ complaints make children feel tired, drained of energy, and lacking joy. Parents’ complaints about their own poverty and unhappiness make children feel self-blame. Optimistic and persistent parents motivate their children to move forward courageously.

Seeing the child’s mistakes but ignoring them

In many cases, when children make mistakes like being disrespectful to adults or hitting strangers, parents stay silent, smile, or think that children know nothing because they are young. The ancients said, teaching children from a young age is essential.

Parents should never encourage harmful behaviors like hitting their mother or slapping their father. Children should be taught to take responsibility from a young age. Instead of scolding and hitting, parents should explain to their children the reasons for their mistakes and teach them that admitting mistakes is not shameful, but a way to progress.

Parent not sharing household chores with the mother

In many families, the mother does all the laundry and drying, while the father lies on the sofa playing. The mother washes the vegetables and cooks, while the father sticks to his phone playing games and asks from time to time, “Is dinner ready?”. This has a negative impact on the child’s perception. They will perceive a family imbalance and repeat the same actions as their father, thinking that everything is the mother’s responsibility. Furthermore, this behavior also leads to the child replicating the same actions as their father.

Giving orders to the child without explaining

Young children are not born to obey orders. They need to understand the world, why they need to do things a certain way, and why it is necessary. Therefore, parents need to explain why things are done a certain way. Don’t forget about this need of the child just because you’re busy, or else you will have an authoritarian child who doesn’t know how to share.

Not keeping promises

When the adults make promises to their children, they must keep them. Breaking promises may seem normal, but they deeply affect the child’s consciousness. In such cases, parents cannot demand honesty and responsibility from their children.

Parents are a mirror reflecting their child’s life. Therefore, every habitual action of ours affects the future of our children.

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Frequently asked questions

Unintentional habits such as doing everything for their children can create a sense of entitlement and a lack of independence. Over-protectiveness can also lead to children being unable to cope with failure or adversity, resulting in a lack of resilience and an inability to handle challenges. Additionally, when parents give in to their children’s demands too easily, it can create a sense of impatience and entitlement, leading to further unreasonable demands.

Examples include doing their child’s homework, not setting boundaries or consequences for misbehavior, and giving in to their demands for material possessions or unhealthy food. Another example is when parents constantly praise their children without providing constructive criticism, which can lead to an inflated sense of self-importance and a lack of ability to handle rejection.

Parents should encourage independence by allowing children to make their own decisions and face the consequences. It’s important to set boundaries and provide discipline when needed, teaching children about cause and effect. Parents should also foster a growth mindset by praising effort rather than innate talent, and teaching children to view challenges as opportunities for growth. Finally, parents can model resilience by showing how they handle their own failures and setbacks in a positive way.

Start by having family meetings to discuss rules and expectations, and involve children in creating solutions to problems. Encourage open communication and provide a safe space for children to express their feelings. Teach children about delayed gratification by saving up for desired items, and provide opportunities for them to earn rewards through hard work. Finally, practice saying ‘no’ to unreasonable demands and provide explanations to help children understand the reasons behind your decisions.