“The ‘Disaster’ Child: How Parents Can Spot the Red Flags and Take Action”

Indulged children often turn out to be reliant and disrespectful towards their parents. The four types of children outlined in this article may seem obedient and respectful, but they are, in fact, a recipe for disaster for their parents.


Children Taking Advantage of Their Parents’ Generosity

Traditional parents often hold a belief that having grandchildren is a way to continue their family lineage, and thus, it is a sign of filial piety from their children.

Parents, in fear of disappointing their ancestors, will go to great lengths to support their children in fulfilling this duty. Whether it’s a house or a car, these are all the hard-earned savings that parents have put aside for their retirement.

Once parents give in to their children’s demands, it becomes easier for them to ask for more. If parents don’t set boundaries, their children will never learn the value of hard work and independence.

Unfortunately, most parents think that as time passes, they will grow older, and they want to sacrifice their golden years to support their children’s youth. So, they reluctantly agree to their children’s every demand.

Children who take advantage of their parents in the name of continuing the family line are truly unfilial. Consider the parents’ situation when they are old and frail without any savings for their retirement. What will they do when illness strikes? They have toiled their entire lives for these ungrateful children, and in their old age, they have nothing left for themselves. Are these children not cruel?

Demanding Grandparents to Babysit, Showing Disrespect

Parents often pay for their children’s weddings, and when grandchildren arrive, they are expected to take on the role of unpaid babysitters. Being a caregiver is not the issue here; it’s the lack of filial piety from the children. The saying goes, “There are no parents who abandon their children, only children who abandon their parents.”

I once heard a story from a neighbor: The grandparents adored their son and daughter-in-law and were eager to help take care of their grandchild daily. However, when the child fell ill, the parents blamed the grandparents for being careless and not loving their grandchild enough, which led to the child’s illness.

Hurt by these accusations, the elderly couple argued, and the relationship between the two generations soured. The children resented their parents, and the elderly couple felt unappreciated for their kindness.

It’s ironic that the parents, who spent the least time caring for their child, would blame the grandparents when their child got sick. Absurd!

Appearing Ambitious but Relying on Parents’ Support

There’s a saying in society: “People may appear one way on the surface, but their true nature lies beneath.”

Your friend’s child may seem diligent and ambitious, but in reality, they lack the drive to work hard. They want to turn their bicycle into a luxury car overnight.

This pretentious effort is meaningless. Imagine fresh university graduates with no social experience asking their parents for millions to start a business. Isn’t that laughable?

Take the example of a wealthy family where the child uses their parents’ money to start a business. While they may initially make a profit, they soon start losing money. This proves a harsh reality: not everyone is cut out for entrepreneurship. How can you expect to reach the 99th step when you haven’t even taken the first?

Enabling your children to become “mobile flowers” is the biggest mistake parents can make.

How to Raise Truly Filial Children

A child’s environment and parental upbringing significantly influence their future. Therefore, parents should not cover up their children’s mistakes but guide them to recognize and correct them. Teach your children to be filial, grateful, and independent from a young age.

If you want your children to be filial, you and those around them must set an example.

This issue is both simple and complex. If parents don’t practice filial piety toward their own parents, their children will likely follow suit. If parents constantly demand money and rely on their parents, their children will learn to do the same. Only when parents set a good example will their children emulate their positive traits.

Parents should start by teaching their children simple manners, like greeting elders, inviting them to join meals, and helping with age-appropriate household chores. Share your life struggles and hardships with your children so they understand the value of hard work. In your daily life, make time for your parents, whether through visits or regular phone calls.

Over time, the “seeds of filial piety” will take root and flourish in your children’s hearts. They will learn to respect and love you and cultivate their own sense of filial piety. If you ever notice your children behaving inappropriately, remain calm and guide them with patience, avoiding anger and scolding.

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Frequently asked questions

Children demanding their parents’ support and using the continuation of the family lineage as an excuse is a form of disrespect and ingratitude. It can lead to parents sacrificing their retirement savings and well-being, leaving them vulnerable in their old age. This behavior also prevents children from learning the value of hard work and independence.

When parents are expected to take on the role of unpaid caregivers to their grandchildren, it showcases a lack of gratitude and respect from the children. Blaming the grandparents for a child’s illness, as in the neighbor’s story, is hurtful and ironic, considering the parents’ minimal involvement in their child’s care.

A pretentious effort to seem ambitious while relying on parental financial support is meaningless. It is unrealistic for fresh graduates with no experience to expect large sums of money from their parents to start a business. This can lead to financial loss and highlights the importance of recognizing one’s limitations.

Parents should guide their children to recognize and correct their mistakes, teaching them manners, gratitude, and independence from a young age. Setting a good example is crucial, as children tend to emulate their parents’ behavior. Sharing life struggles, spending time with elders, and teaching simple manners will help foster respect and love, ultimately cultivating filial piety.