2 Key Differences Between Parents Who Value Education and Those Who Don’t: Fix and Improve Now for Your Child’s Success

Children's love for learning doesn't happen by chance; it stems from the very behaviors and upbringing of their parents.


Children’s love of learning is something that every parent desires. Education is one of the paths that allows children to gain knowledge to support their future growth and success.

However, there are some children who do not enjoy learning at all, while others are very eager to learn. Do parents have any influence on whether their children love learning or not? Masanobu Takahama, the author of the book “Raising Children Without Harming Parents,” points out the difference in the attitude of parents whose children love learning and those whose children do not. The attitude of parents has a significant impact on their children.

Parents’ reactions to their children’s learning

Learning is not just about passing exams; it is about gaining knowledge and awareness. Many parents scold and complain when their children are not interested in learning. In kindergarten, you may not complain about whether your child is studying or not, but you will praise your child if they can do something. However, when children enter elementary school, parents begin to think that it is time for their children to take learning seriously, so many parents use their parental authority to scold and force their children to study. When they see their children playing too much, they immediately criticize, but when their children sit down to study, they focus more on the correct or incorrect results than the learning process.

Expressions of blame such as “why is this task so easy but you can’t do it,” “make sure you use punctuation correctly,” “have you read the requirements of the task properly,” “you made the same mistake again”… will make children discouraged and gradually lose their motivation to learn. This action by parents increasingly destroys their children’s love for learning.

Therefore, never blame your child; encourage and motivate them to enjoy learning.

Eliminate the negative mood in learning

Instead of nagging, parents should create a joyful learning environment for their children. It is necessary for parents to change their mindset. Specifically, parents need to abandon the belief that “learning is something unpleasant or painful.” First, when children are born, they naturally think that learning is fun. Children are curious and want to know everything about the world.

When a child is 3 or 4 years old, even if you teach them nothing, they will start asking questions like “Why is the ant in a hole?” “Why is the sky blue?” “Why does the shape of the moon change?”

However, many children stop enjoying learning later on due to their parents’ attitude. Sometimes, parents say things that make their children feel that studying is a burden. For example, do you say things like this when you want your child to study? “Finish your homework quickly,” “You can play only after you finish quickly,” “Everyone is studying, so you need to study too”… These statements may seem harmless, but they will have a negative impact on children. These words will affect your children.

Or when a child wonders why they have to study, many parents will say, “If you don’t study, you will have a difficult life in the future,” “If you don’t go to university, it will be hard to find a good job in the future,” “If you don’t study now, how can you study in high school and university?” These are common answers; they all provide a dark warning about the future if the child does not study diligently right now. However, according to Masanobu Takahama, these are not intelligent responses. He advises that “It is best to tell your children that learning is enjoyable. It would be a waste to not enjoy learning. Learning will help children discover many new things in life and in the world. It is a basic joy of being human.”

Such words from parents will reignite the joy of learning in children.

Suggestions for making children enjoy learning

The best approach is to instill in children the belief that learning is fun. And, of course, parents must lead by example. If you want your child to enjoy reading, then you should also have an interest in reading books. When a baby sees their parents have a great time reading, they will wonder if reading is interesting and start trying it themselves.

Children are like blank sheets of paper, so they learn based on their parents’ behavior. If parents study diligently, their children will naturally follow. But if parents pressure their children to study while spending all their time watching TV or playing with their phones, their children will no longer be enthusiastic about learning. When children see positive actions from their parents, they will become much more positive themselves.

Therefore, raising children is not about changing the children, but about changing yourself as a parent. If parents are positive, their children will be positive. If parents are eager to learn, their children will be eager to learn. When parents do not impose on their children, their children will see learning as a joy. Do not focus on achievements, but encourage genuine effectiveness in learning.