3 Things Parents Keep Hidden That Make Children Misunderstand, Unhappy Families and Unskilled Growth

In parenting, there are things that parents don't want their children to know they need to hide, but there are things you should share for your child to become an understanding kid.


Raising children is a journey of growth for parents, not just for the children. When looking at the actions of parents, children will feel how they need to change themselves. When they behave, when they interact, they will look to their parents to learn. So in a family, if you want your child to understand things, there are things you should hide to avoid putting pressure on them, but there are three things you should not hide but let your child know, so that they can understand and improve themselves better.


Let your child know when you are tired and stressed and want your child’s help

You should maintain an optimistic attitude towards life, don’t torment your child with your own complaints. But when you are too tired, don’t force yourself when you feel overwhelmed. Share with your child and hope they can help. Because if you don’t share and the pressure builds up too much, you will not only explode, but your child will suffer more negativity. Parents need to release their emotions in order to raise a cheerful and optimistic child. Sometimes, life has many ups and downs and we are not always happy. When conflicts arise in work, colleagues, family… then stress is unavoidable.

Hiding emotions is also not good. You can tell your child that you are tired, you want to sleep, they can play alone. You want your child to help by rubbing your head, massaging your shoulders for a while. At this time, if you try to appear happy, you may not be able to do it and become angry and difficult to control. Meanwhile, if your child knows, understands, and supports you by eating and playing by themselves, everything will be much better.

Depending on your child’s age, their perception will vary. But when parents share like this, children will learn how to understand other people’s emotions.


Let your child know the current difficulties of the family, but don’t make it pessimistic

Many parents are very pessimistic about the situation of their family, teaching their children to be self-conscious so that they know their family is very poor and difficult so that they won’t demand too much. But that approach is not good and makes children lose confidence. On the other hand, if you try to indulge your child by borrowing money for them because you don’t want them to know that the family is struggling, it will drain your energy and your child won’t understand. Share with your child but in an optimistic spirit and have solutions. Share with your child about the family situation, not in too much detail but enough for them to understand that you work hard to earn money so spending should not be wasteful. And more importantly, how you share is very important. If you speak in a negative and painful way, your child will truly feel disgusted. But if you share in a positive spirit, your child will try with you, the whole family will try together.

Cry when feeling sad

Many people are afraid to cry in front of their children because they think their children will laugh or be scared. But don’t worry, if you are too tired and want to cry, allow yourself to cry. It’s as simple as expressing emotions. When we are happy, we can’t hide our smiles, so why do we have to hide our tears when we are sad? If crying is a way to express emotions, then it is completely normal to comfortably express them with loved ones. Doing this also helps your child learn how to express emotions when necessary, not always suppressing them.

The way you express emotions in a timely manner is also a way to teach your child about emotional intelligence. If parents cry when facing a situation that makes their children sad (like the death of grandparents or other family members), let them witness this pain, it can help children realize that they are not alone in this loss. However, you should not make your child afraid because parents are sad and out of control. Parents also need to explain the reasons for their actions, why they cry. In addition, parents should also ask children about their emotions. But if you cry too frequently or cry unnaturally and uncontrollably, it is also a cause for concern for your child.

So being a parent is a process of learning and knowing when and what to let your child know and what not to let them know!

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